Articles on Health, Relationship and Motivation

It is believed by many that improperly unmanaged stress is a major determinant in almost all illness conditions. The question we ask is "Does stress also leads to diabetes?" We shall investigate.

We can classify diabetes into two major types:

type 1 diabetes mellitus and

type 2 diabetes mellitus.

Type 1 diabetes mellitus is commonly known as juvenile diabetes because it starts when the sufferers are still young, as children and young adults. It is the result of insufficient amount of insulin being produced (the condition is known as insulin deficiency). Since it starts early in life, we can safely conclude that type 1 diabetes mellitus is unlikely to be caused by stress.

Type 2 diabetes mellitus usually occurs later in life, usually after the age of forty. Type 2 diabetes mellitus is the most common form of diabetes. In type 2 diabetes mellitus, the problems arise because

1. Either the body does not produce enough insulin, or
2. The insulin produced is ignored by the cells in the body (known as insulin

resistance), or both. ... more

2. Detecting the Warning Signs of Stress Early

Stress is the bodily response to demands made upon it. It must be emphasized that stress is caused by our bodily reaction to the external events or environment, and not the external events or environment themselves. The similar external event, for example when asked to make a speech, can have very different responses from different people. Some people may view that as an opportunity to show off his skills or to express their view or even to improve their public speaking skills. On the other hand, some people may fear their speech will display their ignorance or incapability.

While stress that is short and ends quickly may be good for the body, stress that goes on for a longer time without sufficient relief can cause much damage to not only our bodies but many other aspects of our lives, such as damage to our relationships or personalities.

There is a simple explanation to why prolonged stress is bad for the body. When stressed, the following actions take place in our body:

1. The heart beats faster so that it can supply more oxygen
2. Dilate airway to the lung so that more air can pass through
3. The arteriole (small arteries) diameters widen or narrow in different regions. ... more

Relationship

1. Let Your Love be Blind

“Is love really blind?” I wonder.

Having been happily married (and some of the times not so happily) for 30 years, I cannot help but ask myself more frequently whether my love is blind. Unsurprisingly to myself, the answer seems to be affirmative. How else would I have been able to go through the various difficult times in our relationship? Logic would dictate that we would have broken up by now. The next question I have been asking is whether it had been good that my love is blind.

I found an interesting section in the book “An Introduction to Positive Psychology” by WC Compton with the title “Is Love Really Blind?”. What you will find in the rest of the article is based on what Compton wrote together with my thoughts.

In our minds, very often, we have pictures of our partners that are inaccurate. We have what is called “positive romantic illusions” about our partners. These illusions explain why we are oblivious to the faults of our partners and so enamoured of them.

While it is true that these illusions tend to fade with time, it is also true they can also strengthen with times, albeit with different characteristics. ... more

2. Improve Your Communication using the I Message

Human beings are social beings and we are interacting with people every day of our life. Often, our happiness depends a great deal on how the interactions with each person turn out. This is especially true of those whom we care about e.g. in close friendships as well as in marriage. However, because each personality we deal with is unique and presents its own challenges, managing the myriad of relationships requires us to consciously observe the process and impact of our interactions so that we continue to gain knowledge, understanding and experience in developing relationships in a positive way.

I have realized that to have good management of relationships, we need to be assertive and honest in sharing our thoughts, feelings and concerns. However, this needs to be done in a way that does not provoke the other party, but is instead respectful and encourages both parties to listen to each other. A good way to do this is through the communication technique of "I" Messages. ... more

Motivation

1. Impact of Extrinsic Motivation on Intrinsic Motivation

Motivation can be simply defined as the things that induce us to take certain actions or behave in a certain way. It is the why or the reason that drives a person towards a desired goal.
The reasons can be categorized into something that is within us i.e. intrinsic / internal motivation, or something that is external to us i.e. extrinsic / external motivation.

Internal motivation in performing a task occurs when the task in itself is experienced as rewarding and there is no need for any external reward before it is performed. Examples are love of the task, self-satisfaction, sense of achievement, relaxation purpose, etc.

External motivation in performing a task occurs when the task is performed because of an external reward. Examples are praise, recognition, money, stickers, grades, material rewards, etc.

Motivation can be seen as a continuum from being externally driven to becoming more internally driven. All of us start off in life being externally driven. Remember how many children are bribed with sweets or stickers, and do things to get praise from adults. But as we mature and our material needs become more satisfied, we become more internally driven. Though intrinsic motivation is generally accepted as being better as it is within the internal control of the person, external motivation is useful in helping a person initially to get on a task when he does not feel intrinsically motivated to do so. more ...

2. Motivation that Works

The most common approach employed to motivate a person is by way of carrot-and-stick. A reward is given when the person performs accordingly and achieve the objective. On the other hand, punishment is executed when the person does not perform accordingly and does not achieve the objective.

Motivation by reward can be very effective - as long as that reward is needed or desired. As soon as that reward is not needed, or does not matter anymore, the motivation stops. When I was young, I was motivated by the reward of one cent for every housefly that I killed. When I was in school, I was motivated by the reward of $10 for every distinction that I obtained. Now, such an one-time payment as reward for efforts extended over a period of time may not motivate me much, except when it is a very big amount. Instead, what will motivate me is the many rewards over extended period of many years for an one-time effort.

Similarly, motivation by punishment can also be very effective as long as that fear of punishment exists. The moment that fear is gone, the motivation will be gone too. When I was young, the fear of being kept at home was effective enough for me to behave. Now, being kept at home is considered as blessing instead of punishment. All my working life, the fear of losing my job kept me tow the line. Now, such fear is not there anymore because I do have other options. ... more

3. Advice Giving Is Not Advisable

Often in our interactions with other people such as our family members and friends, they would inevitably bring up problems that they are facing. Just as Inevitably, we often respond by providing advice on how these problems can be solved, thinking that we are being helpful.

Unfortunately, our such well-intended actions often result in creating more harm than good.

Hence, such advice giving is generally not advisable as illustrated below.

Without even listen to the other person in sufficient details and carefully, we already assume we know the problem well. We also do not find out the other person's point of view on the issue at hand.

We make the mistake of not extending our empathy to the problems faced by the other person.

We get 'credit' for advice giving because the advice is likely to be something that we, or others, have already done and were successful. So if the listener does not succeed, or had done it before but was not successful, the implication is that it is not because the advice was not good, but the listener has not applied it well, or simply incompetent. This tends to make the advisee feel stupid and incapable. ... more

Brought to you by Jacob Gan, PhD (Mich)

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